THE MENU
🌮 TACOS
Spicy opening salvo, market jitters, emergency pause crema, watered-down follow-through.
Introduced hot, served lukewarmBold announcement beef, cable-news heat, “just asking questions” aioli, strategic retreat slaw.
Chef may reconsiderTrade war marinade, tariff crunch, “historic deal” glaze, selective memory garnish.
Partial rollback
🌯 BURRITOS
Territorial ambition rice, national security beans, diplomatic pushback salsa, “just kidding” wrap.
No force requiredInstant-solution chicken, unrealistic timeline rice, ongoing conflict beans, indefinite delay sauce.
Delivery delayedMass-deportation promise steak, logistical reality beans, court-order salsa, scaled-back execution.
Portions may vary
🔥 FAJITAS & SPECIALS
Peace-first marinade, red line peppers, surprise strike sizzle, rebranding glaze.
Sizzles on contact“Day one” solution steak, complex reality peppers, extended timeline onions, shrug finish.
Timeline flexible
🧀 QUESADILLAS
Hot mic cheese, deflection filling, vague-answer blend, repeat-question crust.
Extra spin includedRecorded statement cheese, denial sauce, timeline confusion filling, selective recall.
Rewritten daily
🍟 SIDES
Crispy rollout, market backlash salt, emergency pause seasoning.
Served, then pausedInitial stance potatoes, public backlash seasoning, quiet reversal drizzle.
Included with every order
THE CHICKENED-OUT SPECIAL
Crispy fried chicken on a golden waffle.
Comes with maple syrup. And regrets.
